If you are tangled up in a confusing relationship, one effective strategy to gain a solid footing (and eventually a voice) is to write things down. It doesn’t matter if you are a good writer or not. Your purpose isn’t to win a Pulitzer prize. Here are three important things you can record on paper (or on your computer) that will be tremendously helpful to you over time.
Can you have a healthy relationship where there is lying, covering up, pretending, overlooking, and ignoring? Does that foster intimacy? Of course not. Healthy relationships are grown in the soil of vulnerability and safety. When two people are open and honest, they can get close and experience authentic acceptance and love. Anything less is dysfunctional in some way.
A repentant person will not make excuses, blame you or something else, rationalize their behavior, or justify what they did. If a person is doing any of those things, they are not repentant. Period.
Reconciliation is not a requirement. It’s the desired outcome, but it can only truly take place when four things have happened.
We want to believe we live in an advanced civilization—one that has risen above the base prejudice of our unenlightened ancestors. Human beings have a bent to marginalize other people. We want to be the best Sneetches on the beaches, after all.
There is one key component of every single emotionally destructive relationship. If this one thing is present in your relationship, you are being emotionally abused. Period.
On July 9, 1960, a man took his two kids for a boat ride on the Niagra River. Motor trouble caused the boat to get caught up in the fast current and tip over. The father was swept over the falls to his death. One of the children, a 7-year-old boy, fell over the Canadian Horseshoe falls and miraculously survived… Read More
I’ve been posting links to articles about the whole Saeed-Naghmeh thing over on my Facebook page. For the most part, the comments have been sympathetic toward Naghmeh, but there are some comments that I feel a strong urge to talk about over here on my blog. I’m not going to be Smucker’s Sweet, more Sriracha Hot Sauce, so if you’re… Read More
“Deliver us from evil” is part of the Lord’s Prayer. It’s something Jesus told us we should pray for regularly, so it’s obviously God’s will for us. Yet it’s astounding how many Christians think it is some kind of spiritual exercise in becoming a “living sacrifice” to daily expose oneself to evil—as long as the evil is your spouse. In… Read More
If you do THIS, you will get THAT. Let’s look at Proverbs chapter two.